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April 2020

Interrupted

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I remember as a kid being told by my parents, "Do not interrupt me when I am..." From an early age, we are taught not to interrupt certain things...a conversation, a task, or maybe a train of thought. I can't think of a better word to define 2020.

Why is interruption so frustrating? I have been asking myself that question. I've been angry at times throughout the last couple of months some of it completely justified by seeing lives lost & jobs lost because of this virus. But honestly, my spring and summer got interrupted and I just didn't like that at all.

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG) This verse has been running through my mind. "Ok, God you have a plan. This sure does't feel like it but my feelings betray me all the time so I trust You."

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." - Proverbs 16:9 (ESV) I like to plan, oh goodness, I LOVE to plan! My plans were interrupted. "God, I trust You to tell me what the next step is. I would rather know the WHOLE plan, but if all I see is the next step, help me learn to trust You."

As I discussed in my previous post, the emotional swing of this quarantine has been exhausting. I know many of you have shared with me you feel the same. However, I feel that I am actually starting to embrace this "next step" living. I don't like it (BTW - it's not "un-spiritual" to not like something!) but I am learning to live with this and accept it. God made me who I am - a RED-YELLOW, DI on the DISC which means I love to plan as much as I like the party! That will never change about me, but my response to being interrupted...that's on me.

To be transparent, I feel weak without the plan. I feel vulnerable not knowing. I don't like that. I have been giving those feelings to God everyday whether on my back porch in the mornings over coffee or on my almost daily bike rides or walks. I am reminded of the Apostle Paul's words," I am content with weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10 (ESV) I'm learning to be content. Trust me. I'm still learning.

I saw some good things in myself and through these circumstances. I quickly jumped on board to rally people through online connections. I know it's not the same but I'm glad that I embraced it early on and ran with it. I never let myself just sit inside. I got outside and walked and biked and kept my endorphins up. I'm so glad I embraced physical exercise during this time. I actually feel better physically than I did pre-covid! For both of my kids, their summers were completely interrupted from what we "thought" they would be doing. However, new doors of opportunity have opened for both of them in their interest areas. I'm giving God all credit on that. He established their steps this summer and I'm so thankful.

George Santayana said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I don't want to forget what I have learned. For our entire global community, I pray that we have learned through this experience so far. I know there is a lot ahead that we still don't know, but I pray that you take a few moments to access what you have learned so far. Be transparent with yourself and identify areas of your inner life that were exposed during this time. What is your next step with that "thing" that you saw in yourself? What attitude needs to change? What did you do well that you surprised yourself with your response?

Please click on the comments below if you would like to share something. I'd love to hear what you have learned!