You have heard the saying "It's not what you say - it's how you say it." I've wrestled with this most of my adult life. Lately, I've been confronted with the importance of this saying in ways I haven't embraced before.My six year old daughter does not like to clean her room. Not only that, she is quite the "free spirit" when it comes to her personal space. It drives me crazy. Last night, after 30 minutes alone in her room trying to clean it, we finally sent her to bed and told her she would have to finish it in the morning. The next day, she got up and finished. What we saw was not a clean room but a freshly decorated space that could have been a store front for a Toy Store. She had created little spaces for her dolls, places to sit and read, and a special reading section - all in a very small space. This changed it for me. I will no longer ask Sydney to "clean her room." I will ask her to go create an amazing place to play in her room for her dolls and herself. I'm changing my language.I have a new staff member that we are working together to create a culture for our Worship Ministry. He has different gifts than I and I want to hear his ideas. We also want to make sure that we can agree to disagree. We have created language to discuss like."Try to convince me differently if I think..." Or " Give me a reason why you think..." This has already set an amazing tone for our working relationship.
I'm so glad I've embraced this. I can't wait to see what other "language" I will discover needs tweaking. Give it a try this week- you might be surprised.