I had the privilege of spending a few days this past week in San Antonio, TX with some of my extended family, my parents, my sister Christie, and her daughter, Sierra. I grew up spending two weeks every summer and almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas in San Antonio with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We took sometime to visit the grave sites of my grandparents who are all at home in Heaven now. Sydney was with me and it was very emotional being with her and talking about them. She never got to meet them. But, it was wonderful to be able to tell her that they are in Heaven and that she will meet them one day.
I'm discovering lately that memories have a way of really captivating your emotions at times in ways that range from shear joy to heartfelt grief. I experienced that this week. As I rode past my Me Maw and Paw Paw Henefield's 70 acres in Lytle (south of San Antonio) and Ma Ma and Pa Pa Slack's home on the southside of San Antonio, I remembered summers there and I was swept up in sadness that they weren't there anymore. Later that day, as we took Sydney on the riverboats in downtown San Antonio and ate at Casa Rio, I remember how I dreamed as a child about bringing my own kids here one day to do this with me and I was so overwhelmed with happiness. As I sat with just my sister that night at a restaurant on the river and talked with her, I was at peace in that moment and so enjoyed just talking about our lives and sharing our hearts with each other. These wide swings of emotions are frankly exhausting! But, I'm coming to the realization that looking back is so important to looking forward. Where I have been and what I have experienced should greatly impact the direction I am headed. It should make me course correct or is should encourage me to stay steady.
We all have family. We all have memories that we would like to forget and some that we wish we could live over again. No family is without those experiences. For me, this visit with my Aunt Joyce, Uncle Jack, and Uncle Ronnie and remembering the sweet and sorrowful of the past has made me stop and think of my future and where I want to be and what memories I want to create with my family. Thanks for the memories, San Antonio...sad and happy. I treasure them all.