So we pull out of the city in less than 40 hours - no, we are NOT done packing! But, we will get it done! The movers come on Thursday the 22nd and we close this chapter of our lives in Manhattan. It has been a week of goodbyes, tears, frustrations, fatigue, and absolute gratefulness in my heart. So many emotions - don't really know what to do with them all. I am so thankful for the friendships that I have made this year - new friends that have become a part of my life. I am overwhelmed at how I feel this city has changed me as a person and I can't wait to see as I integrate back into non-urban life just how it has really has done that. I am so grateful for the new little boy in our lives and that he is doing so well at 6 weeks. I am still on the mend fighting another case of mastitis, but I really feel God carrying me right now and whispering to me every moment, "It's gonna be OK." Todd has done the impossible over the last 3 months - selling our house this past week in the middle of trying to do most of the packing as I am spent on the kids and my own health. He is amazing and I celebrate being able to do this journey with him. We leave here with sad hearts at those we love and will miss, but eager to see the beginning of this new life in Hilton Head and the new ministry that awaits us. No blogs for awhile as we move so I will see you on the flipside...
I have wanted to go to Chinatown and Little Italy since we moved here, and we finally got down there. We ate at a great restaurant and really enjoyed St. Patrick's Day!
I went out yesterday by myself for about 4 hours in the city. It was refreshing to be outdoors even if it was 30 degrees! There are just a couple of places I have wanted to visit before we move in 2 weeks and one was the The Strand BookStore. It was really cool. I picked up a copy of E.B. White's essay called Here is New York. I was overwhelmed with sadness at leaving this city that has become a part of my DNA. So many people here...so many people who have not discovered why God created them and why they are here on this planet. I look at people differently after living here. I see more clearly how God made each person so unique and so special. The diversity He created among us - it is truly remarkable! I leave here 2 weeks from today with even more of a passion to serve others, to love others, and to give of myself more than I ever to love people. This city has given me a great gift - the ability to see others maybe for the first time truly how God sees each one of us with our gifts, abilities, flaws, and personalities. The whole package is what makes us who we are. I am so glad we have a creative God!
It's about 12:40 a.m. and I was busy packing tonight (the first night in a week that I have felt like doing anything other than being on the couch!), so I just decided to stay up since Sean will need to eat in about 20 minutes...I don't usually blog late at night, but I am thrilled to be feeling more like myself and actually using my brain! We watched "Little Miss Sunshine" the other night...great film. I am convinced that we can see God in everything around us - even movies! There is this great scene where Uncle Frank is talking with his nephew Dwayne about how if Dwayne wished away his high school years, he would be missing out on some good suffering and that is the only way we learn anything. Well, he's right...I wish I learned through great comfort and easy living, but I never did. Three years ago, I was experiencing the greatest comfort level in my short life in every area of my life and I have to tell you - there was a part of me that was just miserable and discontent and I didn't understand why. The last 2 years, I have experienced suffering in every area of my life and have been as uncomfortable as possible for me. Although I have wished for some comfort desperately, I have never felt that misery in the pit of my stomach that I felt 3 years ago. I needed some good suffering. I truly believe we have to have both to understand life. I feel so much more able to see God at work now that I have been at both extremes in such a short period of time. However, this has changed the way I think about raising my kids and how I want to prepare them for life. Todd and I have such a responsibility to help them embrace both sides of this - great comfort and good suffering - and help them to learn to trust God in BOTH seasons. I'm not on the other side yet - I still have to have an attitude check everyday right now to keep perspective...but I'm keeping it real and I am being as honest as I have ever been with myself and I'm happy about that.