Baby Sean photos
An afternoon in NYC

Great comfort and good suffering

It's about 12:40 a.m. and I was busy packing tonight (the first night in a week that I have felt like doing anything other than being on the couch!), so I just decided to stay up since Sean will need to eat in about 20 minutes...I don't usually blog late at night, but I am thrilled to be feeling more like myself and actually using my brain!  We watched "Little Miss Sunshine" the other night...great film.  I am convinced that we can see God in everything around us - even movies!  There is this great scene where Uncle Frank is talking with his nephew Dwayne about how if Dwayne wished away his high school years, he would be missing out on some good suffering and that is the only way we learn anything. Well, he's right...I wish I learned through great comfort and easy living, but I never did.  Three years ago, I was experiencing the greatest comfort level in my short life in every area of my life and I have to tell you - there was a part of me that was just miserable and discontent and I didn't understand why.  The last 2 years, I have experienced suffering in every area of my life and have been as uncomfortable as possible for me. Although I have wished for some comfort desperately, I have never felt that misery in the pit of my stomach that I felt 3 years ago.  I needed some good suffering. I truly believe we have to have both to understand life. I feel so much more able to see God at work now that I have been at both extremes in such a short period of time. However, this has changed the way I think about raising my kids and how I want to prepare them for life.  Todd and I have such a responsibility to help them embrace both sides of this - great comfort and good suffering - and help them to learn to trust God in BOTH seasons. I'm not on the other side yet - I still have to have an attitude check everyday right now to keep perspective...but I'm keeping it real and I am being as honest as I have ever been with myself and I'm happy about that.