cheval glass

Monopoly

  Sydney and I have been playing monopoly for about the last year. Just recently, she has really started to understand it and it has been a lot of fun.  I was thinking as we were playing this weekend how she buys property every time she lands on it until I have to tell her, she doesn't have enough money. She doesn't care about holding on to her money or if she runs out, she just loves the game. I, on the other hand, am very careful with my purchases and pretty much worry through the whole game if I am going to go bankrupt.

Now I know the point of monopoly is to OWN everything and take everything from the other players. However, watching her play and just enjoy the game, regardless if she won or lost was so refreshing. Just pure enjoyment. I was thinking about how much as I get older, I forget to just enjoy and not worry. I know that with age comes responsibility, but as I watch my children, I see so much more of how Christ wants me to respond to Him as His child. I thought about this passage in Matthew 6...

 ^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." 9 (MSG)

Our kids teach us truths just by being kids. I'm so thankful for the monopoly lesson. So who was teaching who to play?

It's not about us

I'm reading "Teaching Kids Authentic Worship" by Kathleen Chapman and I couldn't wait to do a book review on this.  There are WAY too many nuggets as I am reading that I have to share!

She talks in the first couple of chapters about how the post modern world is "indoctrinating our children into believing everything is about them." As a parent, I confess that there are times that I contribute to this problem. In my attempt as a parent to "connect" to my children with their unique personalities and passions, I go overboard at times. It's very important to be in tune with our kids, but at the same time, we have to help them understand that the entire world does not revolve around their happiness, life being fair, or getting everything they desire.

In context to worship, we have to teach our kids that worship is about God and not about them. "Worship is one-directional. Worship is focusing on God and giving all glory to Him only, alone, singulary, totally - just Him," she writes. Even as an adult, there are time that I forget that when I worship, I am focusing my heart and mind on God and Him alone...not what I need or want...just Him. To really teach our kids to worship God, it has to start with them understanding it is not about them.

Kathleen quotes Ken Hughes, Senior Pastor at College Church in Wheaton, Illinois saying...

"The unspoken but increasingly common assumption of today's Christendom is that worship is primarily for us - to meet our needs. Such worship services are entertainment-focused, and the worshipers are uncommitted spectators who silently grade the performance...Taken to the nth degree,this instills a tragic self-centerdness."

Wow. That hit me. How many times do we do this? We rate our corporate worship experience on how much WE liked the worship leader, the song choices, the message...the stuff. Our kids are listening and learning what worship is by the way we talk about it. Are we teaching them that we worship because worship is really about them? or about God?

More to come...

What I learned from 2010

As I reflect on this New Year's Eve on the past year, I have several things that I learned that I think are worth sharing here at cheval glass. I know that we all look at the beginning of a new year as the opportunity for a fresh start and new challenges. But I think there is a lot to be learned by reflecting on the past - good and bad - and taking those lessons into your future.  As Socrates said, " The unexamined life is not worth living." So with that, here we go..

1. Time is the greatest healer...the more time that passes from hurtful circumstances and situations that have occured in my life, I truly feel healing and restoration growing in my heart and mind. The memory is there, the scar may always be visible, the wound closes as time passes. I am thankful for what I am forgetting now more than ever!

2. I control my time and priorities...I allow things to "take over" and consume me - no one else does this to me - it is my decision what I allow to be the priorities in my life everyday. It's my choice.

3. Who I am in Christ will always be the measurement of my worth.  The longer I am in full-time ministry  (16 years so far!), the more I find peace and affirmation in my heart from this and this alone. As a worship leader, people like the songs I choose or people don't like the songs I choose. They have strong feelings about which campus I lead worship each week ( it's very sweet when I am missed...thank you!) I change my hair and people like or don't like that I changed my hair. I gain weight, I lose weight...all of this is SO unpredictable - it never lands anywhere. I am SO thankful that my God never changes and my worth to Him is not wrapped up in song selections, hair color, weight gain or loss, or meeting expectations. I am HIS child and that's where I am safe and secure.

4. There is nothing better than a good night's sleep. I have struggled with panic anxiety disorder for years and sleeping through the night is a luxury in different seasons of my life. I have had four or five great nights of sleep this past week on vacation and I feel like a new person! I need to do less in the evenings so that I can wind down sooner...that definitely made a difference this week!

5. Treasure every moment with those that mean the most to you. I have watched my sister and her family battle cancer with my brother-in-law and she has done this to the best of her ability. I have watched her make the most of moments at cancer treatments in NYC with her children and with her husband. It has made me more grateful and appreciative of those I love.

6. Have fun even if you don't have time.  I took a few trips with my sister,  family and friends at different times this year and I am so glad that I did. It was difficult with my job and the responsibilities I have, but I am glad I didn't allow that to keep me from being with them and making some great memories.

7. I love to blog and I'm ready to jump back in this year. I started blogging in 2006 and I have had good years and not so good years. This was one of those years that I let it sit on the back burner for a number of reasons, but the bottom line is that I love doing it. I have truly missed sharing moments of my life here. Honestly, some of it was intentional because I truly needed a year to be unplugged. Some of it was just not making it a priority. However, I know that this is vital part of my journey and a discipline that I need to embrace again in 2011.

8. Watching my children grow up is the greatest gift to me as a mother. Sean was riding his brand new bike this afternoon and I can't believe he will be four in a few weeks. I am so thankful that I have the privilege to remember giving birth to him and now watch him ride a bike. Sydney has been journaling so much the past couple of months. I am so thankful I have the privilege of remembering when she couldn't write her name and now she is writing pages and pages of her thoughts. Some moms and dads do not have the privilege to see it happen.  I am so thankful that I can.

9. It takes two, baby. Marvin Gaye was right. My life does not work without Todd. We are a team in every aspect of the word. For those of us parents that both work outside the home, it's the only way to survive. We each have our strengths and weaknesses that we bring to our relationship, but we are truly confident in what we bring to our marriage and to our family. It works for us and I am so thankful for the partner that God sent me 15 years ago. We are not the typical family with typical roles. We are different and I am so thankful that God chose the perfect man to live with me! One of my favorite memories this year is when I picked Sydney up from school on a Monday (as that is one of my days to pick up) and three cars behind me was Todd...to pick up Sydney...yeah, he thought he told me he was getting her that day "to help me out." But it all works out...I'm sure there will be a day that neither of us picks her up...thank goodnes for Amy Cunningham who helps us out!

Well that's about it. I don't want to ramble. I hope your 2010 has taught you some things that you can take with you into 2011.  I leave with you a quote from one of my favorite authors as you leave this year behind and embrace the future.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”  

- C.S. Lewis

Sunday Recap - Church at home

Today was the last day of the Cullen Family "Staycation" and we spent the morning not driving to one or two different LCC campuses (which is what we normally do), but at home, worshiping together as a family. We take one maybe two Sundays off a year where our entire family is together, so this is a treat for us to not be serving on a Sunday, but to just be worshiping together as a family.

Todd fixed a great breakfast (his famous eggs and bacon on the grill!) and then we went to the living room to have our "church" time.  I was all excited about this today. Just the family together...and then it started.  Sydney started crying because I got out my guitar and she thought she had to sing by herself (she is "shy", she says!) Sean starts repeating "I want to watch Toy Story!" We explained to him that we were having church together at home. Then he started saying "I want to go to Promiseland! (Kudos, Barb and Vinnie!)...Todd looks at me - I look at him - yeah, this is going well :)

After I had a little "private" chat with Sydney (the 6-yr-old) and after Todd had a "quiet chat" with Sean (the 3- yr-old), and we explained as best we could what we were trying to do (and that we were going to the beach after this!)  We finally got things settled down and we started singing songs the kids knew. We did "Praise Him, praise Him, all ye little children.." Father Abraham, Kum Ba Yah, Jesus Loves Me, and the B-I-B-L-E. We ended with "How Great is Our God." Todd had Sydney read Luke 15 about the Lost Sheep from her new Bible she received for K-5 Graduation and then we read it from her Read with Me Bible from school.

As soon as we started talking about sheep and the sound they make, Sean proceeded to become a sheep from the rest of our "service" and we pretty much just let him be a sheep. Sydney began to really engage about the story and we closed it out with doing the devotional from Luke 15 from our family devotional book called Book of Devotions-The Beginner's Bible. Sydney really engaged with us and we found a great prayer to start doing together with her at her bedtime prayer time.

    " The Lord is my shepherd and I am His sheep. He watches over me even when I sleep. Watch over me, Lord as I prance and play. Watch over me, Lord, by night and by day. Amen."  pg. 136 - Book of Devotions-The Beginner's Bible.

Our "Church at home" experience was just that - a family experience. It's the greatest responsibility that Todd and I have as ministers to teach our kids that church is not where Mommy and Daddy work. It is so hard to do that. I grew up in a minister's home and it was hard to get that sometimes. So, for today, we made an honest attempt, it was fun, and a great way to end our vacation as a family.

Leave it to Pixar

They can't make a bad movie. Even if you don't love them all, none of them come close to even being a bad movie. Toy Story came out the year I was married.  I remember seeing it with my family in Florida where we lived at the time. I've seen everyone of them, but nothing was as special as seeing Toy Story 3 with BOTH of my kids. Sean is finally old enough to sit through a two-hour movie and actually stay with it (as long as there is plenty of popcorn, candy, and drink flowing!) We watched Toy Story 1 & 2 all week in anticipation for going to see it today, As they clung to their Buzz Lightyear and Jessie Cowgirl action figures (recent purchases from Walmart), they watched with wide eyes and laughed all the way through.

SPOILER ALERT!  Mom and Dad, on the other hand, were not always laughing (although "Ken"-voiced by Michael Keaton-was my favorite character-he was awesome!) I could have done without the ending. As Todd and I quietly sniffled through Andy's mom looking at his boxed up room and as Andy said goodbye to his toys, they got us. They made the grownups cry like babies.

We were not home five minutes and Sydney and Sean had assembled baby dolls, stuffed animals, trains, and other of their toys in the living room. They started acting out their own stories with them. I just sat and watched.

I read EW and I hardly ever agree with the reviews they do on movies. However, Owen Gleiberman did a great piece on Toy Story 3 about how HE cried during the movie. I loved the last paragraph of his article...

"...the spirit of imagination hasn't gone out of our world - it's there every time a child picks up an inanimate object of fun and sees, feels, experiences the hidden life in it...It says that they-and we-are going to be okay. As long as we remember that our inner child isn't what we're told, but what we invent."   - Owen Gleiberman, EW, 7.2.10 - pg. 24

I hate picking up toys...I really do. But Owen is right. The ability to play and invent is a priceless value. So, I'm going to be a little less frustrated when I see the towns and cities my kids have built all over the house and enjoy the invention of their creativity and imaginations a whole lot more than I do.

A true story

Sydney and I were watching one of her favorite movies recently and she asked me if it was a true story. I told her it was not - it was just pretend. She started asking me about other videos that she watches and I told her they were all pretend. She said," We don't have a lot of true stories, mommy. Can we get some movies that are true?"

As a parent, I choose movies and videos that teach good values - being kind, sharing, obeying authority, and making good choices. We mix it up with VeggieTales and Boz the Bear as well as Barbie, Thomas the Train, and Dora/Diego. But my five year old is desiring true stories, not just truth in story form.

I find a lot of joy in reading a great novel or watching a great movie that tells a story, and as an adult, I am able to separate the truth from the fiction.  However, Sydney brings up a great point. We fill our minds with a lot of stories that may contain elements of truth, but the story itself is not true. 

John F. Kennedy said ,"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."

Is the fact that the story is fictional maybe communicating that the truths it is teaching are fictional as well? I am not suggesting a ban of ALL movies that are not true in our home, but it is making me think about what we watch and what I buy.

We bought Dave and the Giant Pickle the other night which is the story of David and Goliath from the Bible as told by VeggieTales. I explained that Goliath was not a pickle but a person, she was like, "Mom, I know..." But I told her, THIS was a true story of what a small boy did because He believed that God was able to do anything. She has wore out that DVD.

It has made me think and we will engage a lot more now about this rather than me just assuming that because there are elements of truth in the story, it is communicating truth to her.

Talk to me here. What do you think?

I can't win sometimes

There are some things as a parent that I have found are non-negotiable when it comes to my kids. Granted, I have only been a parent for 5 years, but I have learned to listen to what my kids ask me to be a part of in their lives. On Tuesday of this week, Sydney mentioned that one of the moms of one of her classmates had lunch with them. Todd and I have done this once before. But Sydney doesn't usually ask us to come to stuff. But this time, she said, "Mom, will you come have lunch with me at school?" I was thrilled. So, I planned to pick up McDonald's and bring it to her during her VERY early lunch time from 10:30 - 11:00.  Sydney is a child that has to prepared for the schedule to change. So, I told her that I would be a little late, but that I would be there.

Now, we ALL know that McDonald's starts serving lunch at 10:30. They have done this since I was child. So I was sitting in the parking lot at 10:25...waiting. At 10:30 on the nose, I pulled into the drive thru and began ordering my Happy Meals. The lady replied, "I'm sorry, Ma'am...we don't serve lunch till 11." OK...now I panic. Syd has no lunch and we do not have a wide variety of fast food on the Island. I whip over to Burger King...order the meals...and they proceed to tell me that the fries are going to be awhile. They were still pealing potatoes :) 10:40 now...

I finally get there at 10:45. Sydney is in tears. She says ," I thought you forgot and were sitting at home." We try to eat, but she is so stressed out because she knows that lunch is almost over (again, she is VERY conscious of time!) We woof down our food and the bell rings. I walk her back to class. I ask her, "Are you mad at mommy?" She says,"No...it's alright." with a very disappointed look.

I know...the reward is in the trying, but man, I felt like a loser! Note to self...PACK A LUNCH to have at school with your child. Second note to self...call the Corporate offices of McDonalds and tell them they have a rogue restaurant that is messing up people's lives!

Anybody else feel like they can't win sometimes?

Sean turns 3

 

It's hard for me to believe. It goes a lot faster with the 2nd one, I think. This has been our year together at home, just the two of us. With Sydney starting school this year, I have treasured my time with Sean and getting to know and understand the way God made him. Be careful what you pray for...you just might get it. I prayed for a daughter like Todd and a son like me. Yeah, it happened. I look in his eyes and I know what he is thinking. I see how he learns quick and adapts. I see his quick temper when something doesn't work right the first time. He loves music. He pats the rhythm or just bobs his head when he listens to music. He leads his sister even though he is almost 3 years younger and he doesn't care if the is the smallest kid in the jumpy houses - he is not going to miss out on anything that his big sister is doing. He is so independent and yet loves to cuddle with his mom. I can always count on him for some good snuggle time!

Sydney loved to read with me at an early age. Sean has not cared for it all. But in the past two weeks, he is bringing me books to read to him. We have been sitting for 20-30 minutes at a time (unheard of for him!) and reading together. He is counting to 10. He thinks everything is either orange or blue (still working on colors). Lately, he enters a room and says 'Mom, whacha doing?" I tell him. Then he says "That's silly." He has started praying by himself at night. I love the Boz the Bear prayer. Sydney learned it at his age as well.

As I write this blog, he is out with his dad hitting balls with his first "real" set of golf clubs. They have a program where you upgrade the clubs as they get older so we started that this year. Todd has been waiting for this day for a LONG time! Sean is a lefty, but he plays sports with his right hand so Dad can handle that.

I feel very blessed today. I am so thankful for his health and development. I am so thankful for God giving us the privilege of parenting this precious little boy. Happy Birthday, bubby!I love you so much!

two weeks

I have been in somewhat of a "fog" the last 2 weeks as we spent one week packing and this past week moving. I looked at Todd at some point this week and said, "Honestly, if there was a gun to my head right now, I could not tell you what day it is." We are SO happy to be in our new home..pics to come! So , here is what happened around the Cullen house the last two weeks...

• Sydney finished preschool...she is officially a Kindergartener...say that 30 times really fast! She is headed to HHCA in August.
• Todd and I celebrated our 14th Anniversary on June 3rd. For those who know us REALLY well, we can all say that Todd deserved a big kudos for that!
• My Worship Arts Intern, Emily Wolffe, from my Alma Mater, Liberty University, started this week. Her 1st task? Painting Sean's bedroom last Friday night! She is an awesome woman, gifted musician, and a REAL servant to put up with our move being right smack in the middle of her 1st week on Hilton Head! We are going to have an awesome summer!
• Ellie Lancaster was in Hilton Head this week and we had the chance to reconnect. We have known each other for about 9 years from NorthStar and most recently we were original staff members of The Gallery Church in NYC. We love you, Elle!
•   Sydney turned 5 years old today. She is such a big girl and just a joy to our lives. I would think after 5 years of being a parent I would have more of a clue? NOT! We celebrated with some of Sydney's close friends and our friends as well at the Yacht Club (My b-day is tomorrow.) Yes, it was a much deserved treat...sitting around the pool and they fixed the food!
• We love our new home. We feel SO blessed that God has given this to us. Our friends, the Krupas, from ATL were able to move into our rental house. God just worked the whole thing out! Now the fun begins...painting, pictures, and giving this place "our touch."

Hope you had a great two weeks...looking forward to being back in the blogosphere this week!

Being a mom means...

1. That my personal priorities are always filtered through what I desire for my children.
2. That I have to be ok with house work not getting done because sometimes they just want me to sit with them and watch a movie.
3.  That my kids "need" a new outfit before I really ever think about the fact that I have been wearing the same pair of pants for 4 years.
4. My heart breaks anytime I hear about a child being hurt.
5. That I have 4 eyes watching my every move.
6. That I can have one day that I feel like "Mom of the Year" and the next day feel like an unfit parent.
7.  That I truly believe my mom was crazy to have 3 kids.
8.  That my kids give me the greatest joys in life and the deepest sorrow - sometimes in the same hour.
9.  That I will always feel guilty that I am not doing enough to raise them right.
10. That I will never grow tired of bedtime prayers and songs.
11.  That I will never grow tired of mealtimes together.
12. That I will never grow tired of their hugs and kisses.
13. That I maybe understand now that my Heavenly Father truly only wants what is best for me.
14. That I cannot fathom God's love for me to give up His only Son's life for someone like me.
15. That I am able to give my kids the legacy of faith that my mom gave to me. I love you, mom!

To all mothers out there, enjoy your day. You deserve it.